throughout this small break, there's a lot of things that i have been through. some were ugliest thing i ever went through, but some...i must say..the BEST ever thing i have been through since the day i was born (erk....??)
truthfully, i am still a teen, (still have couple of days, before i become a -ty...i mean.. twenty, thirty, so and so...), hence, it should really be reasonable that i played kids-games, watch cartoons, and act like a small kid jerk!...haha... but i am glad that i have my little brother that always support me and play along with me in my acting as a small kid jerk! but maaf la cad...ak sokmo ketuk mu...haha... :p
this holiday, i experienced lots of things:
1. i am supposed to go to umrah, but instead, i don't go there at the last minute since, i had to attend to an exam. hence, after i am myself loath my self for the choice i made, i made up a conclusion. ATHIRAH AZIZ must never make an hesitate decision! never do something that will make me regret later! and also...ATHIRAH AZIZ will finish the dental surgery degree and later will start travelling. focus one thing on one time only.my priority now is STUDY!
2. i realise that i prefer public transport and bicycle the most. and i am scared-to-the-death to drive a car or a motorcycle. haha...how i discover this?? i was in a bus on the way to KL central. i talked to a lady there and i came to a thinking. 'this oba-chan this old, still she enjoyed travelling with a bus, she seemed so familiar there' and also, once when i was on the way to klia to catch my plane to kelantan, i talked with a carefree woman...she worked as a nasi lemak seller...she owned a business of that, passed from her late mother to her. she said that she had used the public transport since....don't know..maybe she get used to ride ones and never rememner when she was in fond of it... also i must say, sometime i do hate public transport, especially if there is too much people in it, too crowded. but i enjoy watching people's behaviours, their talking, their lives story, their opinion on something, their explanations....i just love to listen to my low-sound mp music, while i observe their behavioral..simple as that! and i hate to drive own cars or motorcycle...why?? because i hate to be the driver but i love to be the back seater, get my hand out of car-windows and feel the air...know what, that's why i love cycling. when the air rush pass me, i feel the chill and and invisible air.. i love the air! we can't see it but we feel it.the same way as the love and the hatred.
3. i am a broken-hearted girl. as i said, love and hatred are something like air, we can't see it, but it was there, those that keep us alive. well, by texts, fb, pm, ym...all that...we just know that the people we are waiting for must have someone else beside us, right?? i just know it! haha... woman's instinct is just the best instinct, right?? especially if the woman is an october-born woman. i must say, i pray for you both happiness and hopefully your plan to marry her asap works the way you want.
4. now the 2 people i was hoping for, have somebody beside them..there's no point i wait for them anymore...that's why i said earlier, the after-this period of my life is fully-contented with my study, insyaAllah.
5. i now know the meaning of laughing when you feel like crying, for i have experienced the thing. like a fist-like stone got struck in your throat, that you can neither gulp down it or vomit it out. it is painful on both way. however, finally, i choose to swallow it. now i think my digestion system may have been on the final edge of squashing it that sometime i feel like crying, sometime, i feel nothing.
6. i made a weird decision again.. :p
bile thirah rs mcm thirah nk lupakan something about something, thirah will avoid things connected to that somethings. what finished is finish! thirah rs kalau thirah bt benda tu and thirah rs nnt thirah akan nyesal atau x senang hati, atau nt thirah rs sedih, thirah will choose not to do it.orang kata better not than sorry kan..thirah akan start sayang kan diri thirah sdiri. i need to be more mature! i must! let bygone be bygone k, thirah!
7. broken friendship with a girl is more pahit than boy...maybe sebab kami used to be best friends, but since the last day we met, there's no more texts from her, no calls, no fb pm, nothing... sorry to say, thirah dah jump to a decision. i'm sorry, for the bad terms we had.thirah mntak maaf sgt kalau slame kita kawan, thirah bt kamu trase..thirah bt kamu kecewa ngan thirah...thirah th, thirah byk wat benda ngarut... tp this is thirah... i'm sorry... thirah pun thu, mesti kamu pun dah x nk exchange text ngan thirah, x nk kol thirah..thirah rs of all things that happen, this gonna be the best things for us. i am sorry kamu. and goodbye, kamu, my best friend and my old memories. for me, you going away from me is like the old memories are going away from me as well. i know the fact that when i decide this, some other people will decide the same thing to me, but i think i will not regret, insyaAllah. we have to move forward and i decide to. again, goodbye to you all and to old memories. and let's keep this friendship as a mere friendship only.
hence, this is my update of what i want to tell the world, my readers(if there's any) and letters of posts to my future childs, grandchilds, great grandchilds, great great grandchilds and so on... haha... at least, when they ask me, "tok wan, masa tok wan kecik2 dulu, tok wan macam mana eh???"..then as an oba-chan, have no energy to move the hands,phalanges and to talk all that, i can give them this blog's address. to read the life memoirs of ATHIRAH AZIZ. insyaAllah... (n.n)
p/s: ipod game of Japan Life!...so hard to find even one neighbour!!!!!!!! argh!!! however, the game is one of my ipod's favourite games now... (^.^)
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