some stories

it is 5 minutes before the-day-i-turned-21-in-Hijri-calendar

pass by...

it is Friday 17 Raby` al-THaany 1412 A.H.

some 21 years ago 

the same friday as it was today

i was born...

somehow today my day today is sort of unique 

maybe

i really realized today that i was sort of closed-container people

i will not let anyone get around me

it was hard for me to open up to people

and what's more

i hate it, really 

when people mistreat me

when take me wrongly

when they tell sorts of stories about me

i am thankful sometimes that i hear none of the stories about me

not that i don't care

i want to know nothing about those 

so that i still have my good expressions of them like i used to have

and i want to keep it that way

i know now that i am someone 

people say

'world of her own'

and really i create

a small greenery world of my own

when things got hard on me and i want to continue to smile

head up, walk on and laugh happily

as if nothing is wrong with me

if i want to start crying now and moaning about everything 

i reallly will not know 

when will i stop

how can i stop crying

and yeah

i will try to pull myself together and get better

insyaAllah

Islam then teaches me the right way to channel my

anger 
frustration

sadness

joyness

emptiness

that people sometimes find annoying

that i have no one to share them with

the book of Motivasi Menjadi Wanita Paling Bahagia by Dr 'Aidh Abdullah Al-Qarni

really help me a lot

and i have my prayers

my zikir and my Quran 
i really do become happy that way

like today

i did a mistake and my friends seemed really pissed off with me for that

and my works at the simulation lab seemed got struck

and i really don't wanna cry about those

then i set myself loose and ponder myself with cakes,cookies,kebab,mango juices

and many more

while listening to the zikir along the way to the town

zikir to ease off unhappiness

i find myself again swinging off my tiny shopping bag in my left hand and 

shockingly i was myself happy when i set foot 

to the rehearsal for the event of my faculty tomorrow 

i watched the hilarious Jozan at Maharaja Lawak in my ipod video and

i laughed a lot about that

hahahahahaha

p:s> laugh like him ok!