i miss my home

the works, the lectures, books.......all are driving me crazy.......
i want to go home! know what..i nearly buy flight ticket to Kelantan for the next weekend, the last few day ....but then, when i thought back about that, huh.....i will have 4 HOURS pbsm(like red crescent class) next weeknd and the immunisation days i have is approximately 2 days class, which is also equal to 4 HOURS!!!!!!

erg!!! if i'm to board the flight, then i will have to come to every single class for the rest of the semester...and if i fail to do so...i will have to retake the course.and i am in my last part of this pbsm course! oh....i really don't want to extend this class.........especially when i have two big exams next semester!

and now...i only wish that there will be sometimes off the other week, which will allow me to hop in the flight, return to Kelantan and hop in again before class the next monday morning by bus.....

P/s: i hope my batch's dinner plan this 13/11 will work and there will be no more obstacles for us... hopefully the dinner will be ok and fine! amin...insyaAllah....

the past hectic days

the few days before, i could say, the life is quite busy... with all the notes to be completed, the English oral test, MRCS registrations, the module test....all.........huh.... i am soooo exhausted.

last Saturday however, i made some time off to see my old friend. we are friends like since.... 10 years now... talking to her, laughing, asking her things...i felt like she is having kind of hard life now.. from her story, she has no close friends in the place she is studying. but she seems so relaxed and maybe she's used to this kind of situation.

for a girl, teenagers whatsoever, they loves to have someone or FRIEND/s to accompany them anywhere they go. it is quite normal to see couple of girls walking together, having nice chats, eating together, all that stuff...because, girls loooovvveee companions. for a girl, no matter how much she wants to be independent, she will still look up to somebody she can put the trust on when she is having problems.

i have couple of friends that is quiet in behavior. they are not that shy2 girl...or mute girls that can't speak to the public, just that they think their voice is low in volume and they are practically not used to speak a lot, among their family, whatsoever....for me, MAYBE they just don't know well about how to communicate nicely with other people. me myself, don't really know that skills...interpersonal skill, because, i always end up hurting someone feelings at the end of the day.but i do believe that their point of view and ideas are always the best when they point that out...because, they are the types of people that OBSERVE people, not do all the talking, playing stuff...in other words they are judging you and examining you... haha..... i love them! because, when i have problems and i told them about it, their solutions is simply the best! well...they have known the situations, right....

hence, for people like me, we will always be the kind of girls that seems to belong to a group of girls, but is actually, belong nowhere in the society. we mainly live for Allah and ourselves. sometimes, i believe that these girls may feel like an empty girl, no friends to chat with, to share stories, to argue with, to eat together...all that. but actually, sometimes there is a relieve and thankful feeling deep in our hearts that we thank Allah, for always be there for us... even though everyone seems to ignore us.

this entry is not to condemn any girls group, anyone in particular, but i made this entry to entertain my friends that always do stuff alone and also want to remind myself that although i am alone, i should be thankful that i have Allah beside me, watching over me and guiding me...Alhamdulillah.....InsyaAllah........ ^^

p/s: i'm working on a short story...finally! but only can do it bit by bit on my ipod...but yeah! i really want to finish the story and i want to be a writer! when i finish, i will post it up! but...hm...a matter of time... hehe..^^

the long-ago friendly time is here!

i gonna catch my bus in few hours,

for the trip to 

my long-ago, missed college, campus, faculty, friends, laughter, tears and memories...

i hope the new semesters will gonna be 

fairly ok for me, 

that i can properly breath there...

i hope my new roommate will be ok

having me in the same room as she is in

i hope the study group plan 

we have come out with together 

will be working

i hope me myself have stopped the pointless 

dreams and 

be a grown adult myself

i hope the new campus in sungai buloh will finish 

constructions in another few months

that we all can have better facilities with lots of smiling faces

i hope the study will be much better this time

i hope there will be no more cat-calling 

i hope the people that may have teased me before 

have graduated and 

we never meet

again

i hope to meet no harm during these coming semesters

INSYAALLAH

AMIN

(^___^)

the open house is ended....

fuh............
serius lega gler.... buat kerja non-stop, imagine, going to and fro around the same house for hundreds of time, carrying this, that, refilling this, that....washing this, that.....seriously....!!!! penat gler!

dah la ak x packing menda lgi baju2 nk bwk g shah alam....bilik, insyaAllah kawan ak dah secure sebuah kat kolej, sbilik ngan dia...tp...... ak x decide ag nk bwk ape.... maybe sebab nnt insyaAllah, kami akan pindah kampus kan....so mls la nk bwk brg byk2... buat nyemak je...haha...

i gave sms to few of the closed friends but the one that attended, sorang je... haha... alhamdulillah.... at least, ade gak kwn ak wat mai... since many of my friends already at their universities, some even has started the classes, so i already can expect this.... and some of my friends feel rather shy to be at my home. maybe, because, they never come to my house, and having no friends to come with and so on....well, i say nothing about that, since it is their choice to come or go at their will, right??

despite that i slept late last night, watching Good Luck(another jdrama), i still managed to wake around 6.30am to pray Subuh, then took a short nap, and later woke up again around 8.30 am today...haha....quite an achievement! \^.^/

there are lots of works to do...and yeah, the meals of the day was Sup Daging(meat soup), sayur goreng(fried vege), budu(fish sauce)***a must for the Kelantanese and Terengganunian, varieties of ulam (fresh vege as a side dish, eat by dipping it into budu**** yummy! ^^ ), fried salted fish, fresh watermelon, sauced fried chicken,and sunquick juice with ice!

really! i must say, next time, if my father say that the family will hold another event like this, we really need to buy another set of knives, glasses, spoons, and budu! the noises when the events begin(when the rombongan dari masjid arrived...), ya Allah, so loud, full of orders and clicking of tray dishes being carrying around to serve the orang dari masjid...well, they are my fathers' friends and i think my father is quite famous there, so nothing big when my father said, only a few will come from the mosque, but the reality is that!so many people came and we became outnumbered!!! seriously...the dishes...the people...the cars...my.........ai ai...

know what?
we began around 2.45 pm and already, around 4 pm, the main dish(the Sup Daging and the Ayam berempah) is done! and another around of cookings need to be done.... imagine, we are sooooo  exhausted! even me, for a few minutes, laid back on my bed, while waiting for the toilet turns to take wudu' to preform Asar prayer, i could have fallen asleep! and i reminded y'all, THIS IS AN AMONG-FAMILY-AND-FRIENDS-HARI-RAYA FEAST!!!, not the big2 feast like wedding, or so...

the event is best... but!...i think would be even better if my younger bro could be here....he is in Kuala Nerang..his class already started...pity eh...

p/s: i wish i have taken some time off to snap around....but...huh...... i rather chose rest than snap snap  :p  ... and yeah...not that i have a good camera... hahaha..........

the weekend is gonna be over

finally, this gonna be my last week of before-becoming-a-senior break.. this saturday, i will return to Shah Alam to continue the semester.

throughout this small break, there's a lot of things that i have been through. some were ugliest thing i ever went through, but some...i must say..the BEST ever thing i have been through since the day i was born (erk....??)

truthfully, i am still a teen, (still have couple of days, before i become a -ty...i mean.. twenty, thirty,  so and so...), hence, it should really be reasonable that i played kids-games, watch cartoons, and act like a small kid jerk!...haha... but i am glad that i have my little brother that always support me and play along with me in my acting as a small kid jerk! but maaf la cad...ak sokmo ketuk mu...haha... :p

this holiday, i experienced lots of things:
1. i am supposed to go to umrah, but instead, i don't go there at the last minute since, i had to attend to an exam. hence, after i am myself loath my self for the choice i made, i made up a conclusion. ATHIRAH AZIZ must never make an hesitate decision! never do something that will make me regret later! and also...ATHIRAH AZIZ will finish the dental surgery degree and later will start travelling. focus one thing on one time only.my priority now is STUDY!
2. i realise that i prefer public transport and bicycle the most. and i am scared-to-the-death to drive a car or a motorcycle. haha...how i discover this?? i was in a bus on the way to KL central. i talked to a lady there and i came to a thinking. 'this oba-chan this old, still she enjoyed travelling with a bus, she seemed so familiar there' and also, once when i was on the way to klia to catch my plane to kelantan, i talked with a carefree woman...she worked as a nasi lemak seller...she owned a business of that, passed from her late mother to her. she said that she had used the public transport since....don't know..maybe she get used to ride ones and never rememner when she was in fond of it... also i must say, sometime i do hate public transport, especially if there is too much people in it, too crowded. but i enjoy watching people's behaviours, their talking, their lives story, their opinion on something, their explanations....i just love to listen to my low-sound mp music, while i observe their behavioral..simple as that! and i hate to drive own cars or motorcycle...why?? because i hate to be the driver but i love to be the back seater, get my hand out of car-windows and feel the air...know what, that's why i love cycling. when the air rush pass me, i feel the chill and and invisible air.. i love the air! we can't see it but we feel it.the same way as the love and the hatred.
3. i am a broken-hearted girl. as i said, love and hatred are something like air, we can't see it, but it was there, those that keep us alive. well, by texts, fb, pm, ym...all that...we just know that the people we are waiting for must have someone else beside us, right?? i just know it! haha... woman's instinct is just the best instinct, right?? especially if the woman is an october-born woman. i must say, i pray for you both happiness and hopefully your plan to marry her asap works the way you want.
4. now the 2 people i was hoping for, have somebody beside them..there's no point i wait for them anymore...that's why i said earlier, the after-this period of my life is fully-contented with my study, insyaAllah.
5. i now know the meaning of laughing when you feel like crying, for i have experienced the thing. like a fist-like stone got struck in your throat, that you can neither gulp down it or vomit it out. it is painful on both way. however, finally, i choose to swallow it. now i think my digestion system may have been on the final edge of squashing it that sometime i feel like crying, sometime, i feel nothing.
6. i made a weird decision again.. :p
bile thirah rs mcm thirah nk lupakan something about something, thirah will avoid things connected to that somethings. what finished is finish! thirah rs kalau thirah bt benda tu and thirah rs nnt thirah akan nyesal atau x senang hati, atau nt thirah rs sedih, thirah will choose not to do it.orang kata better not than sorry kan..thirah akan start sayang kan diri thirah sdiri. i need to be more mature! i must! let bygone be bygone k, thirah!
7. broken friendship with a girl is more pahit than boy...maybe sebab kami used to be best friends, but since the last day we met, there's no more texts from her, no calls, no fb pm, nothing... sorry to say, thirah dah jump to a decision. i'm sorry, for the bad terms we had.thirah mntak maaf sgt kalau slame kita kawan, thirah bt kamu trase..thirah bt kamu kecewa ngan thirah...thirah th, thirah byk wat benda ngarut... tp this is thirah... i'm sorry... thirah pun thu, mesti kamu pun dah x nk exchange text ngan thirah, x nk kol thirah..thirah rs of all things that happen, this gonna be the best things for us. i am sorry kamu. and goodbye, kamu, my best friend and my old memories. for me, you going away from me is like the old memories are going away from me as well. i know the fact that when i decide this, some other people will decide the same thing to me, but i think i will not regret, insyaAllah. we have to move forward and i decide to. again, goodbye to you all and to old memories. and let's keep this friendship as a mere friendship only.

hence, this is my update of what i want to tell the world, my readers(if there's any) and letters of posts to my future childs, grandchilds, great grandchilds, great great grandchilds and so on... haha... at least, when they ask me, "tok wan, masa tok wan kecik2 dulu, tok wan macam mana eh???"..then as an oba-chan, have no energy to move the hands,phalanges and to talk all that, i can give them this blog's address. to read the life memoirs of ATHIRAH AZIZ. insyaAllah... (n.n)

p/s: ipod game of Japan Life!...so hard to find even one neighbour!!!!!!!! argh!!! however, the game is one of my ipod's favourite games now... (^.^)