after a very long battle

i have been to lots of battle before, lots and lots of them. sometime i loss, sometime i won...somehow, they really could not match this my one little battle.

i was on the edge, i tripped, i died and if  i flew, i lived. this one little battle teach me somehow beyond that. when i was at the edge, i was hoping and hoping that somehow will actually come and help me. i was hoping for my family, my best friend and all of the people i knew. but yet, i know deep inside my heart, i was hoping that He(ALLAH) listen to me and help me out, because, at that point, when i was at the edge, i come to a thinking....


i have my family and Ika with me now, but what about the future?? will they always be with me???


then one day, it happened that my best friend forget to bring along her handphone to her college and her collage is 3 hours journey by car. i called and called her repeatedly each day when i felt in vain, i felt helpless. i kept called her each day, hoping that she would actually answer my phone. just yet, another thing stuck me. 


i was hoping for a human to help me, i was begging to a human. but why can't i beg for her superior, her Creator. My Creator. OUR CREATOR. 

then, i slowly reached out my broken heart to my Al-Quran...i read the tafsir and read again and again. however, there is one line that i always come stumbling into, like we have to say InsyaAllah and must always tasbih ( say SUBHANALLAH) in the morning and the afternoon...

i was perplexed. however somehow in that particular desperate zone, i do what my God, our ALLAH told me to, and somehow i find peace deep inside my heart. i find peace. i feel peace. and each time, i feel troubled, i turn to Him and cry to Him, i read His Words (al-Quran) and i find peace. really.

right now i am waiting for the outcome of my battle. no matter what it is, insyaAllah, it will be the best for me, since i know, He is My Creator, He Know What i do not know. and what he has arrange for me, should be the best for me.
insyaALLAH....2nd year, faculty of dentistry, uitm, 2011. amin....
insyaAllah, insyaAllah, insyaAllah.

the holiday issss here...

hm...what's more to say...this is the longest ever sem break the Malaysian university students have in their whole life...but yet, this is my first end of 2 semesters break(insyaAllah, gonna start second year soon) but yet, this is the busiest ever break i have in my life. as a matter of fact, i gonna sit for really important exam, and have to break all bone i have to finish the reading and memorizing and testing and explaining and all! ok...i.m okay with that,insyaAllah, but what i want to share here is not about that, but about KELANTAN WON SECOND PLACE ON PIALA VS TERENGGANU, of course...he won the first place...

but still i want to congrate Qlate for have fought till the very last hour, and YOU GUYS REALLY DO PRETTY AWESOME OUT THERE SEMALAM!!!!!

well kelantan memang kalah, 3-2. but Qlate kalah saat akhir. sebab few seconds before the ending wiesel, the Qlate made mistake and that put Tganu draw with Qlate. with additional 30 minutes, they continue to fought on and on. well that make the Qlate score another and Tganu score another and another.

3-2 in 120 minutes. with very loud crowds, undying Qlate supporters... well i am one of them jugak...tp x la sapa ke sana....kami sokong dari jauh... tp insyaAllah, doa kami sampai sana. however, things maybe with a reason kan...mane ade bnda wat blaku kat dunia ni, blaku saja2.. kita lahir kat dunia ni pun, sebagai khalifah...insyaAllah. maybe, insyaAllah, Qlate menang Liga Malaysia ke pulak nnt. amin....insyaAllah. kami THE RED WARRIORS SUPPORTERS akan give Qlate Footballers players undying supports, insyaAllah!! with half(or majority) or the red supporters fiiled the stadium smlm...kami bangga dgn game smlm...sbb kami tahu, nk belari kat padang tu, with the heat, the pressure, the lagging legs, should really been exhausted. i bet, mesti ada player wat wish, he is in the bench. hm. if it should be me, i really don't want to be in the middle of the crowds with thousand, er...uncountable eyes, watching your back and if you make one mistake, even for saving the situation, could do you harm...you mean for the best for the team, but, it turned the way round. and whole world is watching you....wargh........!!!!!!! ngeri....... but thank you Footballers, for the best ever bola sepak game i ever watch!!!!! with lots of card...haha... TRW, WE REALLY PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kami satu family kot gather depan tv tgk Qlate maen...best!!!!!!!!!! sbb walau kami jauh(Qlate-Stad, Selangor) tp rsnye, kami rasa semangat bemaen the Footballers tu. sbb kami orang Qlate, kalau kami dah comited to something, kami dead want to see it ends. how though it goona be pun, kami still akan sokong, insyaAllah...go go QLATE!!!!!!!!!!!!

hm.... i really love KELANTAN DARUL NAIM.............

plus, i really respect Sultan Kelantan and Qlate's Menteri Besar, TOK GURU NIK AZIZ. smlm, bangga tgk Tok Guru ngan Sultan Qlate kat stadium. i am a Qlate kan...walau kecek Qlate, bunyi mace SIE, tp still kecek Qlate wei duk dumoh... (ak pun x pehe, bakpola bahaso Qlate ak x pekat2 mace sek2 ni....), for me kan, they two both are really irreplaceable. their humbleness and good leadership in leading the way Qlate is nowadays is awesome!  i have been to a few states in malaysia but for me, Qlate is irreplaceble. well where can you find, a plain chinese that can speak Qlate better,superb than you and I AM AN ORIGINAL, insyaAllah, QLATE. and where can you find, girls and woman that wear baju kurung when they are in public, that speak and act so soft in motherly manner, mind, reallllyyyy soft and so anggun. they are not pretty, not gorgeous, but seeing them give you an ease at heart. and we Qlateness always greet each other greatly like old best friends even, we are only meeting each other once or twice. hm...when i was away, seeing other places, open my eyes about my own original place... that's why it is soooo harus that we people, travelling kan? so that we learn to appreciate little2 things LIKE our origin, our people and cultures... for me, Qlate is a reserved place and it is better to be like this. too much develop can do us harm, too little develop will belittle us. but, QLATE is in the middle. we are not big2 city like Kuantan, or down2 city like Kuala Nerang. however for me, it's not the building that should stand though, it's the people that should stand tough, i mean, unity, integrity, good-mannered and the REDDISH burning spirit among the people. it is the human development we should put ahead, before material ones.

what use is it if the people wear pearls, silk, gold, but wear the manners of five-years old kids. the outside appearances is achievable, everybody can wear pearls, it is money-achievable, but unity.... hm it's hard to find, but can be achieved. for me, Islam is the best way of life. the God is One, ALLAH. the religion is ONE as well, ISLAM. if there is few gods, what could the world be..?? haruk pikuk....disaster!the sail must never have more than one captain. the sail will broken with more than one captain. the best way to learn the best way to live in this world is, ISLAM. ISLAM teach me the best way to talk, dress, eat, drink, play, study and all. and what i learn, really is the best. you know, insyaAllah, Islam also teach me the best manner a muslimah should have.and it was really shocking that when i do the way Islam teach me, i really find it soothing inside me, there is no longer feeling of emptiness, dark-feeling, incomplete and rebellious. Islam also teach me the way to cope with problems and to overcome it. i really love Islam because it teach me what i want. Allah, insyaAllah give me what i want and you know, what you say as a doa, is makbul. insyaAllah, if not so direct, it delay for a few minutes, hours or days. seriously, if you put your heart in your doa, insyaAllah. have faith and you will overcome everything on your way,  insyaAllah. doa is our weapon, remember. we have Allah, insyaAllah. always seek for His Forgiveness and Help. for He is the Best Helper of all.