Assalamualaikum!
has been quite a while since the last time i post anything on this page of mine.
okeh!let's get to business.
i have started the INTRO. TO CLINIC or ITC
-which is COMPULSORY for dental students before starting the clinical years, before seeing the patients, before this and before that-
last 27/8/2012.
which is also the 8th Syawal 1433H.
so that's saying that we gonna spend our next two weeks of Hari Raya or Eid Mubarak in lectures, demo classes, labs, white coats, gloves, green gowns, mirrors, probes, e-set trays, stock tray, scaling...
you name it!
but despite all
what i really want to write here is that i have my FIRST patient last Wednesday that is 29/8/2012
which is also, of course, my own batch mate!
i was REAAAAALLYYY shaking!
i was to do the screening of her teeth conditions, record any caries or plaque-if there's any-
and then suddenly when i was softly enjoy the moments
the probe catch on something and the gum start bleeding.
i mean BLEEDING!
i was like
'OH! what SHOULD i doooo???!!!'
my hand was shaking but i quickly reached for the sterile gauze and cotton wool
and wiped the blood.
lucky me!Alhamdulillah! the blood stopped bleeding and everything became normal again.
but
i know i was not.
when i was to continue the works
my hands still shaking and i couldn't really properly works after that.
well, not everything is perfect for the first trial.
even Albert Einstein can't make the bulb in one day stand
Mahatma Gandhi can't reach the democracy for India in one day
Dr Sun Yat Sen can't change China in one day
hence
people can't change in one day
at least, i can't
but give me time
i'll try my best
and
let the time heals everything
also
i don't know why
what's happening
because for me
one week through ITC
it was like a new world has reached me and i am forced into it
for example, Asian eats rice, suddenly the rice is gone, instead it grows in west world
the Asian is forced to take wheat and apple for lunch and breakfast.
hm...
pretty hard to adapt eh?
haha...lame example.
what i mean above is like
all of this time i have been dreaming in my own world
my own colours
my own sky
my own trees
my own birds
all those sort of things.
hence, during the 1st week of ITC,
i watch new things
new skills
new people
new skies
and new scenarios
some, i could say, easy for me to adapt
some, need a lot of efforts to pull things together.
and there's one time i was so blurred what to do
i become numb.
i could say that was my first numbness i feel in my heart all my life.
even when my brother who always teased me, almost like everyday, saying
"you're stupid or student? no....you are stupid, not a student"
i was okay with that
because in some way he was right
in another way......aaaarrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhh!!!
of many years i think i live in this lovely world
that new experience
i think i managed to see on both views.
i was numb but i don't know how to manage it
because i learn through my eyes and my ears
and i just not getting the learning yet during that time
so i was numb.
and i fled.
because when i don't know the answer to anything, i fled.
like nothing happen, i pretend.
but to be pretentious, it was tiring.
but i don't know how to manage
hence,
i was stuck.
i am really sorry.
i was really stupid.
but like i said,
that was my first experience
and i am not familiar with it, so i don't really know what to do.
hence what i did what like whining
to my best friend-which is so busy poking a GOAT, at the time i phoned her-
and to my best buddy-my Mom-
during those time,i turned to my Creator, asking help
at least, i feel calm and soothe
and still manage to smile.
Alhamdulillah.
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