Pages

Monday, November 28, 2011

Syeikh Ahmad Izzah Al-Andalusi and Adolf Ruberto

Suatu petang, di Penjara tempat tahanan orang-orang di situ terasa hening mencengkam. Jeneral Adolf Roberto, penguasa penjara yang terkenal bengis, sedang memeriksa setiap kamar tahanan.

Apabila beliau melalui setiap sel, kesemua banduan penjara terus membongkokkan badan mereka serendah-rendahnya ketika penguasa penjara itu melintasi di hadapan mereka. Kerana kalau tidak, sepatu boot keras milik tuan Roberto itu akan mendarat di wajah mereka. Ketika melalui satu sel telinga Roberto terdengar suara seseorang sedang mengalunkan ayat-ayat yang amat ia benci apabila mendengarnya “Hai orang tua bodoh… hentikan bacaanmu itu yang sungguh menjengkelkan.. Hentikan… !” Teriak Roberto sekeras-kerasnya sambil membelalakkan mata. Namun apa yang terjadi? Lelaki dikamar tahanan tadi tetap saja bersenandung dengan khusyuknya.

Roberto bertambah berang. Pemimpin penjara itu menghampiri kamar tahanan yang luasnya tak lebih sekadar cukup untuk seorang. Dengan marah ia menyemburkan ludahnya ke wajah tua sang tahanan yang kelihatan sangat kurus kering dan kulit yang berkedut sehingga menampakkan rangka tulang dibadannya. Tak puas sampai di situ, ia lalu menyucuh wajah dan seluruh badan orang tua itu dengan rokoknya yang menyala. Sungguh ajaib… Tak terdengar secuit pun keluh kesakitan. Bibir yang pucat kering milik sang tahanan terus melaungkan kata Ya Rabbi, wa ana abduka… Tahanan lain yang menyaksikan kebiadaban itu serentak bertakbir sambil berkata, “Bersabarlah wahai ustaz… InsyaAllah tempatmu di Syurga.”

Melihat kegigihan orang tua yang dipanggil ustaz oleh sesama tahanan, penguasa penjara itu bertambah memuncak marahnya. Ia memerintahkan pegawai penjara untuk membuka sel, dan ditariknya tubuh orang tua itu keras-kerasnya sehingga terjerembab di lantai. “Hai orang tua busuk! Bukankah engkau tahu, aku tidak suka bahasa hinamu itu?! Aku tidak suka apa-apa yang berhubung dengan agamamu! Ketahuilah orang tua dungu, bumi Sepanyol ini kini telah berada dalam kekuasaan bapa kami, Tuhan *** Anda telah membuat aku benci dan geram dengan suara-suara yang seharusnya tidak didengari lagi di sini. Sebagai balasannya engkau akan kubunuh. Kecuali, kalau engkau mahu minta maaf dan masuk agama kami.” Mendengar “khutbah” itu orang tua itu mendongakkan kepala, menatap Roberto dengan tatapan yang tajam dan dingin. Ia lalu berucap,

“Sungguh… aku sangat merindukan kematian, agar aku segera dapat menjumpai kekasihku yang amat kucintai, iaitu Allah. Bila kini aku berada di puncak kebahagiaan karena akan segera menemuiNya, patutkah aku berlutut kepadamu, hai manusia yang terkutuk? Jika aku turuti kemahuanmu, tentu aku termasuk manusia yang amat bodoh.”


Sejurus sahaja kata-kata itu terhenti, sepatu milik Roberto terus mendarat di wajah lelaki tua itu. Tendangan sepatu yang kuat kemuka lelaki tua itu menyebabkan beliau terhuyung hayang. Kemudian jatuh terkapar di lantai penjara dengan wajah berlumuran darah. Ketika itulah dari saku baju penjaranya yang telah lusuh, meluncur sebuah buku kecil. Adolf Roberto terus memungutnya. Namun tangan sang Ustaz telah terlebih dahulu mengambil dan menggenggamnya erat-erat. “Berikan buku itu, hai lelaki tua yang bodoh !” bentak Roberto. “Haram bagi tanganmu yang kafir dan berlumuran dosa untuk menyentuh barang suci ini!”ucap sang ustaz dengan tatapan menghina pada Roberto. Tak ada jalan lain, akhirnya Roberto mengambil jalan paksa untuk mendapatkan buku itu. Sepatu boot seberat dua kilogram itu terus menginjak jari-jari tangan sang ustaz yang telah lemah. Suara gemeretak tulang yang patah terdengar menggetarkan hati.

Namun tidak demikian bagi Roberto. Laki-laki bengis itu malah merasa bangga mendengar gemeretak tulang yang terputus. Bahkan penguasa penjara itu merasa lebih puas lagi ketika melihat titisan darah mengalir dari jari-jari musuhnya yang telah hancur. Setelah tangan tua itu tidak lagi berdaya diangkat, Roberto memungut buku kecil yang membuatnya baran. Perlahan Roberto membuka sampul buku yang telah lusuh. Beliau seakan terpaku melihat buku dan termenung seketika seperti memikirkan sesuatu. “Ah… seperti aku pernah mengenal buku ini. Tetapi bila? Ya, aku pernah mengenal buku ini.”

Suara hati Roberto bertanya-tanya. Perlahan Roberto membuka lembaran pertama itu. Pemuda berumur tiga puluh tahun itu bertambah terkejut tatkala melihat tulisan-tulisan “aneh” dalam buku itu. Rasanya ia pernah mengenal tulisan seperti itu dahulu. Namun, sekarang tak pernah dilihatnya di bumi Sepanyol. Akhirnya Roberto duduk di samping sang ustaz yang sedang melepaskan nafas-nafas terakhirnya. Wajah bengis pemuda kejam itu kini diliputi tanda tanya yang dalam. Mata Roberto rapat terpejam. Ia berusaha keras mengingat peristiwa yang dialaminya sewaktu masih kanak-kanak.

Perlahan, sketsa masa lalu itu tergambar kembali dalam ingatan Roberto. Pemuda itu teringat ketika suatu petang di masa kanak-kanaknya terjadi kekecohan besar di negeri tempat kelahirannya ini. Petang itu ia melihat peristiwa yang mengerikan di tempat para tawanan menjalani hukuman (tempat penyiksaan kaum muslimin di Andalusia). Di tempat itu tengah berlangsung pesta darah dan nyawa. Beribu-ribu jiwa tak berdosa gugur di bumi Andalusia. Di hujung kiri kawasan penyiksaan tersebut, beberapa puluh wanita berhijab (jilbab) digantung pada tiang-tiang besi yang terpancang tinggi. Tubuh mereka yang mati tergantung terbuai-buai ditiup angin petang yang kencang, membuat pakaian muslimah yang dikenakan berkibar-kibar di udara.

Sementara, di kawasan tengah, ratusan pemuda Islam dibakar hidup-hidup pada tiang-tiang, hanya karena tidak mahu memasuki agama yang dibawa oleh para penceroboh. Seorang kanak- kanak laki-laki comel dan tampan, berumur sekitar tujuh tahun, malam itu masih berdiri tegak di kawasan hukuman telah senyap. Korban-korban kebiadaban itu telah syahid semua. Kanak kanak comel itu melimpahkan airmatanya menatap sang ibu yang terkulai lemah di tiang gantungan. Perlahan-lahan kanak - kanak itu mendekati tubuh sang ummi yang tak sudah bernyawa, sambil menarik-narik pakaian yang dipakai oleh sang ummi. Sang anak itu berkata dengan suara parau, “Ummi, ummi, mari kita pulang. Hari telah malam. Bukankah ummi telah berjanji malam ini akan mengajariku lagi tentang alif, ba, ta, tsa… .? Ummi, cepat pulang ke rumah ummi… “

Budak kecil itu akhirnya menangis semakin kuat, ketika sang ummi tidak jua menyahut ucapannya. Ia semakin bingung dan takut, tak tahu apa yang harus dibuat . Untuk pulang ke rumah pun ia tak tahu arah. Akhirnya budak itu berteriak memanggil ayahnya, “Abi… Abi… Abi… ” Namun ia segera terhenti berteriak memanggil sang bapa ketika teringat petang kelmarin bapanya diseret dari rumah oleh beberapa orang berseragam. “Hai… siapa kamu?!” jerit segerombolan orang yang tiba-tiba mendekati budak tersebut. “Saya Ahmad Izzah, sedang menunggu Ummi… ” jawabnya memohon belas kasih. “Hah… siapa namamu budak, cuba ulangi!” bentak salah seorang dari mereka. “Saya Ahmad Izzah… ” dia kembali menjawab dengan agak kasar. Tiba-tiba “Plak! sebuah tamparan mendarat di pipi si kecil. “Hai budak… ! Wajahmu cantik tapi namamu hodoh. Aku benci namamu.

Sekarang kutukar namamu dengan nama yang lebih baik. Namamu sekarang Adolf Roberto… Awas! Jangan kau sebut lagi namamu yang buruk itu. Kalau kau sebut lagi nama lamamu itu, nanti akan kubunuh!” ancam laki-laki itu.” Tubuh budak itu mengigil ketakutan sambil berjuraian airmatanya kerana terlalu sedih kerana diperlakukan sebegitu.

Dia hanya menurut ketika gerombolan itu membawanya keluar dari kawasan tempat penyiksaan tawanan Akhirnya budak yang comel itu hidup bersama mereka. Tiba-tiba vRoberto tersedar dari menungannya yang panjang. Pemuda itu melompat ke arah sang tahanan. Secepat kilat dirobeknya baju penjara yang melekat pada tubuh sang ustaz. Ia mencari-cari sesuatu di pusat laki-laki itu. Ketika ia menemukan sebuah tanda hitam ia berteriak histeria, “Abi… Abi… Abi… ” Ia pun menangis keras, tak ubahnya seperti Ahmad Izzah dulu. Fikirannya terus bergelut dengan masa lalunya. Ia masih ingat betul, bahwa buku kecil yang ada di dalam genggamannya adalah Kitab Suci milik bapanya, yang dulu sering dibawa dan dibaca ayahnya ketika hendak menidurkannya. Ia jua ingat betul ayahnya mempunyai tanda hitam pada bahagian pusat.

Pemuda bengis itu terus meraung dan memeluk erat tubuh tua nan lemah. Tampak sekali ada penyesalan yang amat dalam atas tingkah-lakunya selama ini. Lidahnya yang sudah berpuluh-puluh tahun lupa akan Islam, saat itu dengan spontan menyebut, “Abi… aku masih ingat alif, ba, ta, tha… ” Hanya sebatas kata itu yang masih terakam dalam benaknya.

Sang ustaz segera membuka mata ketika merasakan ada titisan hangat yang membasahi wajahnya. Dengan tatapan samar dia masih dapat melihat seseorang yang tadi menyeksanya habis-habisan kini sedang memeluknya. “Tunjuki aku pada jalan yang telah engkau tempuhi Abi, tunjukkan aku pada jalan itu… ” Terdengar suara Roberto meraung sambil memeluk erat bapanya.

Sang ustaz yang telah uzur itu terpaksa menghela nafasnya berkali-kali sebelum dapat berkata-kata, lalu memejamkan matanya. Air matanya pun turut berlinang. Betapa tidak, jika setelah puluhan tahun, ternyata ia masih sempat berjumpa dengan buah hatinya, di tempat ini. Sungguh tak masuk akal. Ini semata-mata bukti kebesaran Allah.

Sang ayah dengan susah payah masih boleh berucap. “Anakku, pergilah engkau ke Mesir. Di sana banyak saudaramu. Katakan saja bahwa engkau kenal dengan Syaikh Abdullah Fattah Ismail Al-Andalusy. Belajarlah engkau di negeri itu,” Setelah selesai berpesan sang ustaz menghembuskan nafas terakhir dengan berbekal kalimah indah “Asyahadu anla IllaahailALlah, wa asyahadu anna Muhammad Rasullullah… . Beliau pergi dengan menemui Ar-Rabbnya dengan tersenyum, setelah sekian lama berjuang dibumi yang fana ini.

Kini Ahmah Izzah telah menjadi seorang alim di Mesir. Seluruh hidupnya dibaktikan untuk agamanya, Islam, sebagai ganti kekafiran yang di masa muda sempat disandangnya. Banyak pemuda Islam dari berbagai penjuru berguru dengannya… 

source: from the notes my friend write in the fb.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

this is my personal reminder

yeah...
this is my personal reminder
but somehow i feel like wanting to share it

1.There are five remedies of heart:
First, read the Quran and understand its meaning
Second, do the night prayer
Third, gather with pious people
Fourth, fast (literally: keep a hungry stomach) regularly
Fifth, do long zikir at night

people always have problems...
hence, if i feel like troubled with sorts of problems...
of friends, classes, exams....
i will rush for this remedies
and insyaAllah...
Allah itu MAHA MENDENGAR
He will listens, when others don't even want to listens to our story
and insyaAllah
we will feel ease at heart.
insyaAllah.

2.this one i got this morning from fb, ilmislam.com
...hm... :)
Aku sayang kamu dengan caraku tersendiri.
Jika mereka memilih untuk kerap bertemu, aku memilih untuk tidak bertemu.
Jika mereka memilih untuk kerap berhubungan, aku memilih untuk tidak berhubungan.
Jika mereka memilih untuk selalu saling mengingati, aku memilih untuk tidak mengingatimu.
Jika memilih untuk saling merindu, aku memilih untuk tidak merinduimu…
Kerana apa pilihanku berbeza dengan mereka???

Kerana engkau belum tentu menjadi milikku.
Aku lebih senang bertemu Pelindungku,
aku lebih suka berhubungan dengan Kekasihku dengan berdoa,
aku lebih suka mengingati Dia yang sering mengingati ku,
aku sayang kamu tapi aku lebih sayang Dia…

Terima kasih kerana memahami caraku. moga Allah redha dengan caraku ini :)

i love you in my own way
If they choose to meet regularly, I choose not to meet you.
If they choose to contact you frequently, I choose not to contact you.
If they choose to always remember each other, I choose not to remember you.
If they choose to miss each other, I choose not to miss you ...
why my choices are so differed from theirs?

because you are not certainly mine 
but i feel better when i am with HIM
i  love to be with HIM by prayers
i love to remember HIM more because HE always remembers me
i love you... but i love HIM more

thank you for your understanding of my way. may Allah bless me and my way.

"Ya ALLAH

jika dia benar untukku,
dekatkan hatinya dgn hatiku,
jika dia bukan milikku,
damaikanlah hatiku dgn
ketentuanMu...."

"YA ALLAH
if he is the one meant for me
make both of our hearts close together
but if he is not meant for me
make my heart feels peace with 
it.."

check this out 




Monday, November 21, 2011

a new view dentistry course have

i'm currently the 2nd year student of UiTM, 
Faculty of Dentistry
insyaAllah
and starting last 3 weeks,
right before we, Malaysians
celebrate Eidul Adha, 
we started entering lab
to start the Operative Dent. or Prosthodontics works
insyaAllah

i'm doing the Prostho things, since i'm in group C
and yeah..i'm doing the dentures for the phantom's heads..
how's that??
freaking eh??
hahahhah...

at first..
i really thought like..
HA??? have i fully, mentally, physically prepared to face these dental works??
ya Allah
have i equipped myself enough to endure those things??
ya Allah...

all these while,
i have been exposed to medical stuff only
and some wax teeth carving works last year
but despite all, 
lab really meant blood, bacteria, tumors
necrosis, thrombosis and all we can see during lab works
but in DENTAL lab....
it means different

you can see these....




at first
i was wondering..
how on earth could I manage all these things....
all the appliances, materials, vaseline, flame, wax...everything!
then pop!
the very first day
we had our Prostho demo
and we are instructed to start the work the very same day
let's not waste the time!
oh yeah...
and with little knowledge we had during the demo sessions and lectures
we began the works
to produce the first impression 
in order to  
produce the phantom's head's (should be my patients-to-be, insyaAllah )
dentures.

you know
looking at those appliances for the first time
i re-remembered my fear i used to have during the childhood
whenever there were the dental visit by the hospital 
to my school
and when the class monitors
were at the front
with the green dental cards in their gasps
and when all eyes fixed on the cards
and he was mumbling about the visit
slowly, i would wish
that MY card was not there
and i didn't need to see the dentist

man....
it's freaking scary when i had to march to the sick bay 
when i received  card
to have my teeth rechecked
but i think i still remembered the first time,when
i encountered the real dentist
haha

well i could only saw her eyes, right?
she was wearing mask at the time
her face was so calm and she was wearing spectacles
but i could say
she was a beautiful woman
for her eyes is so brightly shining when she saw me
freaking cold on the dental chair
i guessed she was smiling at the time
haha
and now
i think i want to be like her
insyaAllah
for her smiling eyes that day
eased my heart
and
put me in peace.


InsyaAllah. 


p/s: let's register haji at Lembaga Tabung Haji.thirah baru je daftar td,
tp.... turn insyaAllah, 2043...
so jom daftar cepat2! (^.^)

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

light the candle for me

ya Allah...this feeling is so beautiful...
yesterday waas my birthday
yet
i think i feel happy and blessed and touched till the morning of the day after

for one thing
i didn't received many wishes
only from the people that's really closed to me
and their reminds of my day were enough for me

from my mother
she told me that she had reminded that this 25/10 was my birthday
and she had reminded herself to give me text on the day
many days before yesterday
like the many years before
and i was so touched 

from my father
he wishes me "Happy Birthday"
haha
he is a tough guy
and funny and soft
and i think i was so shocked to hear those words
this is the first time....
for i couldn't recall him telling me any birthday wishes before
and he asked me if i have had any cakes
hahaha

from my little brother
he was working and sleeping
when i called him
then sleepily he told me happy birthday
and i expect  him to forget about it hours later
when he's at home
but then,
he later, posted on my wall
the birthday wish

my classmate and those very closed friends of mine
sang me happy birthday song in lecture hall
i have been an anti-sosial recluse
not so closed to people
and i knew the feeling of being ignored 
and having only few(1 or 2) closed friends
but
here, 
i got 9 closed friends
soooooooooo mannnnyyyyyy
and Alyaa was the first to wish me happy birthday
and so funny when they debated among themselves of my birthday dates...
haha
it was okay
unforgivable

and the last ones.....
were my 2 really closed friends at school
one is in Cardiff now
u know, i got 2 simcard
one for celcom, another for maxis
when she called me
i was using my celcom no to call my father
and yeah, soon after i changed the simcard
i received a message
and it stated that a +6044.........
had tried to call me 4 times...
means 4 miscalls la kan...
and then i guessed she had class after it
(it was 9 pm,Malaysia, for Cardiff,3 pm)
that only later, she posted a birthday wish
on my fb wall
the another closed friend is the one, currently at Uitm Puncak Alam
i was so happy to receive her wish
and we had been re-in-touch after years, recently
in the old school, we both were the most unpopular kids there
sitting in class with all the big2 prefects, debaters, teachers pets
made us so tiny
but i thought we supported each other that time
and that's enough for me,
and they both are currently furthering pharmacy

hm... this is the closing day for my 1st 20th day of my life
but all i can conclude is that 
this birthday proved to me that
i can be happy and thankful with what i have
i don't need plenty wishes
and then i forget who tell me the wishes
but i only need those wishes from people i concern the most
 and i know they concern about me the same way around
and yet
the classes, yesterday was until 5 pm
and i had my presentation with a friend about a research report
(that's rare....i used to avoid social attention, u know.. and i DID presentation yesterday....oh..yeah..)

for my wishes...
1. i wish i meet him(my future hubby), next year,on my birthday...
which i hadn't meet yesterday...it's ok
2. i wish to have happy graduation day this 2015, insyaAllah
3. i wish i loss some kg
4. i wish for my parents and grandmas to have longevity that they can be
both at my graduation and wedding days
5. i wish to eat cake on my birthday and out enjoy myself, next years, on my birthdays
(it's ok, my friend gave me chocolate with a strawberry shape, yesterday...a good replacement....homemade, yummy one)

that's all i think
and last,
this birthday gave me only one word
SPECIAL








Thursday, October 20, 2011

i will be 20 in 5 days....

before 
i made a small wish in my heart....
"i wish to meet my future husband on my birthday 
when i turn 20,insyaAllah..."

but now i know deep in my heart
the wish somehow is a mistake
somehow i know that i shouldn't have made the wish
it's never become a truth!
nothing will happen on my birthday!
NOTHING!!

why??
because
the people i was, is, used to waiting for
will always never know my presence
and they always look passed me

how i know this??
because i always hope for wrong people
and 
i learn A LOT from them

and now...
i know.....
on my birthday
i will repeat the same routines that i do everyday
wear the same baju kurung
same shoes
same class
same nasi
same lauk
same nescafe(.....erk! i can't laeve my coffee)
same umbrella
same routes
same same same same
!!!!!!!!!

it's not that i am not 
thankful with everything i have for now ( i don't want to be like Shrek in Shrek forever after)
but i wish
i have something different 
since i'm turning 20

however....
where's the big deal??
20 is just a number
same as 19, 18, 17,16
all is the same.

last..
i hope i meet my train friend again
it's been a long time since we last and first meet together
insyaAllah....


Wednesday, October 12, 2011

stress and my way


too many to chase, too many to have, too many to become.........huh..........

sometimes i do asked myself.... am i really become what i want to be like??? am i satisfied with everything i did up to now?? am i REALLY happy with myself...........??

the truth is....           I'M TIRED.

repeatedly do the same things everyday...take the same route, eat the same nasi and lauk, drink the same coffee..??(man...i can't leave my coffee alone)

and yes.... this post is about how i was and am stress with my situations and how i handle it.

i was so stress one day and i was battling with myself about my future.
that day, when i called my mother to ask her if she really has blessed me when i decided to take dentistry, she, at first questioned me why i didn't take teaching course like she did and become a teacher like her. and then, when i was nearly at tears, she said that she bless me with whatever i do... the way she said it as if, she had made up her mind to let me be independent and opened up a way for me to breath on my own, and to slowly let go of her tight grisp on me.. thank you, MOK. and now, i did feeling like a little breather.

see...??
for me, when i was stress at the time, i really feel like talking and wanting to clearly solve it. ASAP!
and yes! talking with the very people we have the "unsettle things" with, would really helpful..
ah..yes...i talked with my brother as well. he is not new to my course field, and i thought, maybe he can give me couple of advices....HOWEVER! this is MY advice....
1. avoid talking with oldest BRO that you know, deep in his heart, take little care of you.
2. his only piece of advice he can give you is, quit it, and get married! DAMN!!(as if he is a married man himself)

but all problems begin with our inconsistence and imbalance in life, right..??.everything must live in harmony and homeostasis.hence, it is best, to detect the problems early and solve it quickly....somehow, the problems is within us, and the solutions may also be within us as well.


p/s: good luck to my sister for her coming career as the junior engineer. wish you the best for the work!

Monday, November 28, 2011

Syeikh Ahmad Izzah Al-Andalusi and Adolf Ruberto

Suatu petang, di Penjara tempat tahanan orang-orang di situ terasa hening mencengkam. Jeneral Adolf Roberto, penguasa penjara yang terkenal bengis, sedang memeriksa setiap kamar tahanan.

Apabila beliau melalui setiap sel, kesemua banduan penjara terus membongkokkan badan mereka serendah-rendahnya ketika penguasa penjara itu melintasi di hadapan mereka. Kerana kalau tidak, sepatu boot keras milik tuan Roberto itu akan mendarat di wajah mereka. Ketika melalui satu sel telinga Roberto terdengar suara seseorang sedang mengalunkan ayat-ayat yang amat ia benci apabila mendengarnya “Hai orang tua bodoh… hentikan bacaanmu itu yang sungguh menjengkelkan.. Hentikan… !” Teriak Roberto sekeras-kerasnya sambil membelalakkan mata. Namun apa yang terjadi? Lelaki dikamar tahanan tadi tetap saja bersenandung dengan khusyuknya.

Roberto bertambah berang. Pemimpin penjara itu menghampiri kamar tahanan yang luasnya tak lebih sekadar cukup untuk seorang. Dengan marah ia menyemburkan ludahnya ke wajah tua sang tahanan yang kelihatan sangat kurus kering dan kulit yang berkedut sehingga menampakkan rangka tulang dibadannya. Tak puas sampai di situ, ia lalu menyucuh wajah dan seluruh badan orang tua itu dengan rokoknya yang menyala. Sungguh ajaib… Tak terdengar secuit pun keluh kesakitan. Bibir yang pucat kering milik sang tahanan terus melaungkan kata Ya Rabbi, wa ana abduka… Tahanan lain yang menyaksikan kebiadaban itu serentak bertakbir sambil berkata, “Bersabarlah wahai ustaz… InsyaAllah tempatmu di Syurga.”

Melihat kegigihan orang tua yang dipanggil ustaz oleh sesama tahanan, penguasa penjara itu bertambah memuncak marahnya. Ia memerintahkan pegawai penjara untuk membuka sel, dan ditariknya tubuh orang tua itu keras-kerasnya sehingga terjerembab di lantai. “Hai orang tua busuk! Bukankah engkau tahu, aku tidak suka bahasa hinamu itu?! Aku tidak suka apa-apa yang berhubung dengan agamamu! Ketahuilah orang tua dungu, bumi Sepanyol ini kini telah berada dalam kekuasaan bapa kami, Tuhan *** Anda telah membuat aku benci dan geram dengan suara-suara yang seharusnya tidak didengari lagi di sini. Sebagai balasannya engkau akan kubunuh. Kecuali, kalau engkau mahu minta maaf dan masuk agama kami.” Mendengar “khutbah” itu orang tua itu mendongakkan kepala, menatap Roberto dengan tatapan yang tajam dan dingin. Ia lalu berucap,

“Sungguh… aku sangat merindukan kematian, agar aku segera dapat menjumpai kekasihku yang amat kucintai, iaitu Allah. Bila kini aku berada di puncak kebahagiaan karena akan segera menemuiNya, patutkah aku berlutut kepadamu, hai manusia yang terkutuk? Jika aku turuti kemahuanmu, tentu aku termasuk manusia yang amat bodoh.”


Sejurus sahaja kata-kata itu terhenti, sepatu milik Roberto terus mendarat di wajah lelaki tua itu. Tendangan sepatu yang kuat kemuka lelaki tua itu menyebabkan beliau terhuyung hayang. Kemudian jatuh terkapar di lantai penjara dengan wajah berlumuran darah. Ketika itulah dari saku baju penjaranya yang telah lusuh, meluncur sebuah buku kecil. Adolf Roberto terus memungutnya. Namun tangan sang Ustaz telah terlebih dahulu mengambil dan menggenggamnya erat-erat. “Berikan buku itu, hai lelaki tua yang bodoh !” bentak Roberto. “Haram bagi tanganmu yang kafir dan berlumuran dosa untuk menyentuh barang suci ini!”ucap sang ustaz dengan tatapan menghina pada Roberto. Tak ada jalan lain, akhirnya Roberto mengambil jalan paksa untuk mendapatkan buku itu. Sepatu boot seberat dua kilogram itu terus menginjak jari-jari tangan sang ustaz yang telah lemah. Suara gemeretak tulang yang patah terdengar menggetarkan hati.

Namun tidak demikian bagi Roberto. Laki-laki bengis itu malah merasa bangga mendengar gemeretak tulang yang terputus. Bahkan penguasa penjara itu merasa lebih puas lagi ketika melihat titisan darah mengalir dari jari-jari musuhnya yang telah hancur. Setelah tangan tua itu tidak lagi berdaya diangkat, Roberto memungut buku kecil yang membuatnya baran. Perlahan Roberto membuka sampul buku yang telah lusuh. Beliau seakan terpaku melihat buku dan termenung seketika seperti memikirkan sesuatu. “Ah… seperti aku pernah mengenal buku ini. Tetapi bila? Ya, aku pernah mengenal buku ini.”

Suara hati Roberto bertanya-tanya. Perlahan Roberto membuka lembaran pertama itu. Pemuda berumur tiga puluh tahun itu bertambah terkejut tatkala melihat tulisan-tulisan “aneh” dalam buku itu. Rasanya ia pernah mengenal tulisan seperti itu dahulu. Namun, sekarang tak pernah dilihatnya di bumi Sepanyol. Akhirnya Roberto duduk di samping sang ustaz yang sedang melepaskan nafas-nafas terakhirnya. Wajah bengis pemuda kejam itu kini diliputi tanda tanya yang dalam. Mata Roberto rapat terpejam. Ia berusaha keras mengingat peristiwa yang dialaminya sewaktu masih kanak-kanak.

Perlahan, sketsa masa lalu itu tergambar kembali dalam ingatan Roberto. Pemuda itu teringat ketika suatu petang di masa kanak-kanaknya terjadi kekecohan besar di negeri tempat kelahirannya ini. Petang itu ia melihat peristiwa yang mengerikan di tempat para tawanan menjalani hukuman (tempat penyiksaan kaum muslimin di Andalusia). Di tempat itu tengah berlangsung pesta darah dan nyawa. Beribu-ribu jiwa tak berdosa gugur di bumi Andalusia. Di hujung kiri kawasan penyiksaan tersebut, beberapa puluh wanita berhijab (jilbab) digantung pada tiang-tiang besi yang terpancang tinggi. Tubuh mereka yang mati tergantung terbuai-buai ditiup angin petang yang kencang, membuat pakaian muslimah yang dikenakan berkibar-kibar di udara.

Sementara, di kawasan tengah, ratusan pemuda Islam dibakar hidup-hidup pada tiang-tiang, hanya karena tidak mahu memasuki agama yang dibawa oleh para penceroboh. Seorang kanak- kanak laki-laki comel dan tampan, berumur sekitar tujuh tahun, malam itu masih berdiri tegak di kawasan hukuman telah senyap. Korban-korban kebiadaban itu telah syahid semua. Kanak kanak comel itu melimpahkan airmatanya menatap sang ibu yang terkulai lemah di tiang gantungan. Perlahan-lahan kanak - kanak itu mendekati tubuh sang ummi yang tak sudah bernyawa, sambil menarik-narik pakaian yang dipakai oleh sang ummi. Sang anak itu berkata dengan suara parau, “Ummi, ummi, mari kita pulang. Hari telah malam. Bukankah ummi telah berjanji malam ini akan mengajariku lagi tentang alif, ba, ta, tsa… .? Ummi, cepat pulang ke rumah ummi… “

Budak kecil itu akhirnya menangis semakin kuat, ketika sang ummi tidak jua menyahut ucapannya. Ia semakin bingung dan takut, tak tahu apa yang harus dibuat . Untuk pulang ke rumah pun ia tak tahu arah. Akhirnya budak itu berteriak memanggil ayahnya, “Abi… Abi… Abi… ” Namun ia segera terhenti berteriak memanggil sang bapa ketika teringat petang kelmarin bapanya diseret dari rumah oleh beberapa orang berseragam. “Hai… siapa kamu?!” jerit segerombolan orang yang tiba-tiba mendekati budak tersebut. “Saya Ahmad Izzah, sedang menunggu Ummi… ” jawabnya memohon belas kasih. “Hah… siapa namamu budak, cuba ulangi!” bentak salah seorang dari mereka. “Saya Ahmad Izzah… ” dia kembali menjawab dengan agak kasar. Tiba-tiba “Plak! sebuah tamparan mendarat di pipi si kecil. “Hai budak… ! Wajahmu cantik tapi namamu hodoh. Aku benci namamu.

Sekarang kutukar namamu dengan nama yang lebih baik. Namamu sekarang Adolf Roberto… Awas! Jangan kau sebut lagi namamu yang buruk itu. Kalau kau sebut lagi nama lamamu itu, nanti akan kubunuh!” ancam laki-laki itu.” Tubuh budak itu mengigil ketakutan sambil berjuraian airmatanya kerana terlalu sedih kerana diperlakukan sebegitu.

Dia hanya menurut ketika gerombolan itu membawanya keluar dari kawasan tempat penyiksaan tawanan Akhirnya budak yang comel itu hidup bersama mereka. Tiba-tiba vRoberto tersedar dari menungannya yang panjang. Pemuda itu melompat ke arah sang tahanan. Secepat kilat dirobeknya baju penjara yang melekat pada tubuh sang ustaz. Ia mencari-cari sesuatu di pusat laki-laki itu. Ketika ia menemukan sebuah tanda hitam ia berteriak histeria, “Abi… Abi… Abi… ” Ia pun menangis keras, tak ubahnya seperti Ahmad Izzah dulu. Fikirannya terus bergelut dengan masa lalunya. Ia masih ingat betul, bahwa buku kecil yang ada di dalam genggamannya adalah Kitab Suci milik bapanya, yang dulu sering dibawa dan dibaca ayahnya ketika hendak menidurkannya. Ia jua ingat betul ayahnya mempunyai tanda hitam pada bahagian pusat.

Pemuda bengis itu terus meraung dan memeluk erat tubuh tua nan lemah. Tampak sekali ada penyesalan yang amat dalam atas tingkah-lakunya selama ini. Lidahnya yang sudah berpuluh-puluh tahun lupa akan Islam, saat itu dengan spontan menyebut, “Abi… aku masih ingat alif, ba, ta, tha… ” Hanya sebatas kata itu yang masih terakam dalam benaknya.

Sang ustaz segera membuka mata ketika merasakan ada titisan hangat yang membasahi wajahnya. Dengan tatapan samar dia masih dapat melihat seseorang yang tadi menyeksanya habis-habisan kini sedang memeluknya. “Tunjuki aku pada jalan yang telah engkau tempuhi Abi, tunjukkan aku pada jalan itu… ” Terdengar suara Roberto meraung sambil memeluk erat bapanya.

Sang ustaz yang telah uzur itu terpaksa menghela nafasnya berkali-kali sebelum dapat berkata-kata, lalu memejamkan matanya. Air matanya pun turut berlinang. Betapa tidak, jika setelah puluhan tahun, ternyata ia masih sempat berjumpa dengan buah hatinya, di tempat ini. Sungguh tak masuk akal. Ini semata-mata bukti kebesaran Allah.

Sang ayah dengan susah payah masih boleh berucap. “Anakku, pergilah engkau ke Mesir. Di sana banyak saudaramu. Katakan saja bahwa engkau kenal dengan Syaikh Abdullah Fattah Ismail Al-Andalusy. Belajarlah engkau di negeri itu,” Setelah selesai berpesan sang ustaz menghembuskan nafas terakhir dengan berbekal kalimah indah “Asyahadu anla IllaahailALlah, wa asyahadu anna Muhammad Rasullullah… . Beliau pergi dengan menemui Ar-Rabbnya dengan tersenyum, setelah sekian lama berjuang dibumi yang fana ini.

Kini Ahmah Izzah telah menjadi seorang alim di Mesir. Seluruh hidupnya dibaktikan untuk agamanya, Islam, sebagai ganti kekafiran yang di masa muda sempat disandangnya. Banyak pemuda Islam dari berbagai penjuru berguru dengannya… 

source: from the notes my friend write in the fb.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

this is my personal reminder

yeah...
this is my personal reminder
but somehow i feel like wanting to share it

1.There are five remedies of heart:
First, read the Quran and understand its meaning
Second, do the night prayer
Third, gather with pious people
Fourth, fast (literally: keep a hungry stomach) regularly
Fifth, do long zikir at night

people always have problems...
hence, if i feel like troubled with sorts of problems...
of friends, classes, exams....
i will rush for this remedies
and insyaAllah...
Allah itu MAHA MENDENGAR
He will listens, when others don't even want to listens to our story
and insyaAllah
we will feel ease at heart.
insyaAllah.

2.this one i got this morning from fb, ilmislam.com
...hm... :)
Aku sayang kamu dengan caraku tersendiri.
Jika mereka memilih untuk kerap bertemu, aku memilih untuk tidak bertemu.
Jika mereka memilih untuk kerap berhubungan, aku memilih untuk tidak berhubungan.
Jika mereka memilih untuk selalu saling mengingati, aku memilih untuk tidak mengingatimu.
Jika memilih untuk saling merindu, aku memilih untuk tidak merinduimu…
Kerana apa pilihanku berbeza dengan mereka???

Kerana engkau belum tentu menjadi milikku.
Aku lebih senang bertemu Pelindungku,
aku lebih suka berhubungan dengan Kekasihku dengan berdoa,
aku lebih suka mengingati Dia yang sering mengingati ku,
aku sayang kamu tapi aku lebih sayang Dia…

Terima kasih kerana memahami caraku. moga Allah redha dengan caraku ini :)

i love you in my own way
If they choose to meet regularly, I choose not to meet you.
If they choose to contact you frequently, I choose not to contact you.
If they choose to always remember each other, I choose not to remember you.
If they choose to miss each other, I choose not to miss you ...
why my choices are so differed from theirs?

because you are not certainly mine 
but i feel better when i am with HIM
i  love to be with HIM by prayers
i love to remember HIM more because HE always remembers me
i love you... but i love HIM more

thank you for your understanding of my way. may Allah bless me and my way.

"Ya ALLAH

jika dia benar untukku,
dekatkan hatinya dgn hatiku,
jika dia bukan milikku,
damaikanlah hatiku dgn
ketentuanMu...."

"YA ALLAH
if he is the one meant for me
make both of our hearts close together
but if he is not meant for me
make my heart feels peace with 
it.."

check this out 




Monday, November 21, 2011

a new view dentistry course have

i'm currently the 2nd year student of UiTM, 
Faculty of Dentistry
insyaAllah
and starting last 3 weeks,
right before we, Malaysians
celebrate Eidul Adha, 
we started entering lab
to start the Operative Dent. or Prosthodontics works
insyaAllah

i'm doing the Prostho things, since i'm in group C
and yeah..i'm doing the dentures for the phantom's heads..
how's that??
freaking eh??
hahahhah...

at first..
i really thought like..
HA??? have i fully, mentally, physically prepared to face these dental works??
ya Allah
have i equipped myself enough to endure those things??
ya Allah...

all these while,
i have been exposed to medical stuff only
and some wax teeth carving works last year
but despite all, 
lab really meant blood, bacteria, tumors
necrosis, thrombosis and all we can see during lab works
but in DENTAL lab....
it means different

you can see these....




at first
i was wondering..
how on earth could I manage all these things....
all the appliances, materials, vaseline, flame, wax...everything!
then pop!
the very first day
we had our Prostho demo
and we are instructed to start the work the very same day
let's not waste the time!
oh yeah...
and with little knowledge we had during the demo sessions and lectures
we began the works
to produce the first impression 
in order to  
produce the phantom's head's (should be my patients-to-be, insyaAllah )
dentures.

you know
looking at those appliances for the first time
i re-remembered my fear i used to have during the childhood
whenever there were the dental visit by the hospital 
to my school
and when the class monitors
were at the front
with the green dental cards in their gasps
and when all eyes fixed on the cards
and he was mumbling about the visit
slowly, i would wish
that MY card was not there
and i didn't need to see the dentist

man....
it's freaking scary when i had to march to the sick bay 
when i received  card
to have my teeth rechecked
but i think i still remembered the first time,when
i encountered the real dentist
haha

well i could only saw her eyes, right?
she was wearing mask at the time
her face was so calm and she was wearing spectacles
but i could say
she was a beautiful woman
for her eyes is so brightly shining when she saw me
freaking cold on the dental chair
i guessed she was smiling at the time
haha
and now
i think i want to be like her
insyaAllah
for her smiling eyes that day
eased my heart
and
put me in peace.


InsyaAllah. 


p/s: let's register haji at Lembaga Tabung Haji.thirah baru je daftar td,
tp.... turn insyaAllah, 2043...
so jom daftar cepat2! (^.^)

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

light the candle for me

ya Allah...this feeling is so beautiful...
yesterday waas my birthday
yet
i think i feel happy and blessed and touched till the morning of the day after

for one thing
i didn't received many wishes
only from the people that's really closed to me
and their reminds of my day were enough for me

from my mother
she told me that she had reminded that this 25/10 was my birthday
and she had reminded herself to give me text on the day
many days before yesterday
like the many years before
and i was so touched 

from my father
he wishes me "Happy Birthday"
haha
he is a tough guy
and funny and soft
and i think i was so shocked to hear those words
this is the first time....
for i couldn't recall him telling me any birthday wishes before
and he asked me if i have had any cakes
hahaha

from my little brother
he was working and sleeping
when i called him
then sleepily he told me happy birthday
and i expect  him to forget about it hours later
when he's at home
but then,
he later, posted on my wall
the birthday wish

my classmate and those very closed friends of mine
sang me happy birthday song in lecture hall
i have been an anti-sosial recluse
not so closed to people
and i knew the feeling of being ignored 
and having only few(1 or 2) closed friends
but
here, 
i got 9 closed friends
soooooooooo mannnnyyyyyy
and Alyaa was the first to wish me happy birthday
and so funny when they debated among themselves of my birthday dates...
haha
it was okay
unforgivable

and the last ones.....
were my 2 really closed friends at school
one is in Cardiff now
u know, i got 2 simcard
one for celcom, another for maxis
when she called me
i was using my celcom no to call my father
and yeah, soon after i changed the simcard
i received a message
and it stated that a +6044.........
had tried to call me 4 times...
means 4 miscalls la kan...
and then i guessed she had class after it
(it was 9 pm,Malaysia, for Cardiff,3 pm)
that only later, she posted a birthday wish
on my fb wall
the another closed friend is the one, currently at Uitm Puncak Alam
i was so happy to receive her wish
and we had been re-in-touch after years, recently
in the old school, we both were the most unpopular kids there
sitting in class with all the big2 prefects, debaters, teachers pets
made us so tiny
but i thought we supported each other that time
and that's enough for me,
and they both are currently furthering pharmacy

hm... this is the closing day for my 1st 20th day of my life
but all i can conclude is that 
this birthday proved to me that
i can be happy and thankful with what i have
i don't need plenty wishes
and then i forget who tell me the wishes
but i only need those wishes from people i concern the most
 and i know they concern about me the same way around
and yet
the classes, yesterday was until 5 pm
and i had my presentation with a friend about a research report
(that's rare....i used to avoid social attention, u know.. and i DID presentation yesterday....oh..yeah..)

for my wishes...
1. i wish i meet him(my future hubby), next year,on my birthday...
which i hadn't meet yesterday...it's ok
2. i wish to have happy graduation day this 2015, insyaAllah
3. i wish i loss some kg
4. i wish for my parents and grandmas to have longevity that they can be
both at my graduation and wedding days
5. i wish to eat cake on my birthday and out enjoy myself, next years, on my birthdays
(it's ok, my friend gave me chocolate with a strawberry shape, yesterday...a good replacement....homemade, yummy one)

that's all i think
and last,
this birthday gave me only one word
SPECIAL








Thursday, October 20, 2011

i will be 20 in 5 days....

before 
i made a small wish in my heart....
"i wish to meet my future husband on my birthday 
when i turn 20,insyaAllah..."

but now i know deep in my heart
the wish somehow is a mistake
somehow i know that i shouldn't have made the wish
it's never become a truth!
nothing will happen on my birthday!
NOTHING!!

why??
because
the people i was, is, used to waiting for
will always never know my presence
and they always look passed me

how i know this??
because i always hope for wrong people
and 
i learn A LOT from them

and now...
i know.....
on my birthday
i will repeat the same routines that i do everyday
wear the same baju kurung
same shoes
same class
same nasi
same lauk
same nescafe(.....erk! i can't laeve my coffee)
same umbrella
same routes
same same same same
!!!!!!!!!

it's not that i am not 
thankful with everything i have for now ( i don't want to be like Shrek in Shrek forever after)
but i wish
i have something different 
since i'm turning 20

however....
where's the big deal??
20 is just a number
same as 19, 18, 17,16
all is the same.

last..
i hope i meet my train friend again
it's been a long time since we last and first meet together
insyaAllah....


Wednesday, October 12, 2011

stress and my way


too many to chase, too many to have, too many to become.........huh..........

sometimes i do asked myself.... am i really become what i want to be like??? am i satisfied with everything i did up to now?? am i REALLY happy with myself...........??

the truth is....           I'M TIRED.

repeatedly do the same things everyday...take the same route, eat the same nasi and lauk, drink the same coffee..??(man...i can't leave my coffee alone)

and yes.... this post is about how i was and am stress with my situations and how i handle it.

i was so stress one day and i was battling with myself about my future.
that day, when i called my mother to ask her if she really has blessed me when i decided to take dentistry, she, at first questioned me why i didn't take teaching course like she did and become a teacher like her. and then, when i was nearly at tears, she said that she bless me with whatever i do... the way she said it as if, she had made up her mind to let me be independent and opened up a way for me to breath on my own, and to slowly let go of her tight grisp on me.. thank you, MOK. and now, i did feeling like a little breather.

see...??
for me, when i was stress at the time, i really feel like talking and wanting to clearly solve it. ASAP!
and yes! talking with the very people we have the "unsettle things" with, would really helpful..
ah..yes...i talked with my brother as well. he is not new to my course field, and i thought, maybe he can give me couple of advices....HOWEVER! this is MY advice....
1. avoid talking with oldest BRO that you know, deep in his heart, take little care of you.
2. his only piece of advice he can give you is, quit it, and get married! DAMN!!(as if he is a married man himself)

but all problems begin with our inconsistence and imbalance in life, right..??.everything must live in harmony and homeostasis.hence, it is best, to detect the problems early and solve it quickly....somehow, the problems is within us, and the solutions may also be within us as well.


p/s: good luck to my sister for her coming career as the junior engineer. wish you the best for the work!