a little update bout those arond me YEAR 3, 1 SEM

assalamualaikum!

okep, though not many people view my page

not many knows about it ( i really doubt it that anyone in my batch knows about it, ~,~)

so! now i am going to write somethng about what have been around for...... er.... starting of the Sem 1???

well i am having partnership with Alyaa Syazana, the MPP of the Fac. Dentistry UiTM.

so! she's a really busy girl. should have expected that she missed out a lot during the class, and everything!

and i am with my mentor mentee group.

we are so close now that i am afraid that my true color of being "manja" will leak out~~~!!! my my.......~~~

you know, we have to move together as a team, and as classmates. being together for about 2-3 mnths now, really teach me their colors, behaviours, and everything.. sometimes, i was so devastated by them that i bear not looking at their faces at all! yes... and sometimes, i feel like they are so lovely that i want to hold their hands,stroke their hairs, sing them lullaby...(huahuahua. ^o^....... so dramatic)

yeah, but it's true.

every thursday, we will go to Hosp. Sg Buloh or Hosp Selayang 

for the medical attachment

u see, once a week class, really put us through lots and lots of pressure

in terms of gaining informal knowledge, surviving on our own in the huge medical institution,  getting annoyed or scolded by any medical officers, specialist, or anything....

we pave our way ourselves. the lectures only covers few topics

but u see, the hospitals got huge collections of diseases, even the minor2 cases ones.

in the library, and are having discussion about the case Alyaa(red shirt) will be presenting to the cardiologist

me?? not in the photo lah.

i took this picture that day.

hence, we made our way ourselves.

learn about the diseases, ourselves!

with not-to-be-so-proud-of knowledge of basic sciences during Year 1 and Year 2, 

with head full of patients' numbers to call for appointments the next days,

we struggle to learn the medical part, ourselves!

but yes.... there are specialist to guide us, only during the bed-side teaching

somemore......

i have manage to do proper scaling.... ^-^' 

when everyone had start-off with proper restoration already..

haha..

at least, i have opened 3 cases but not proceed treatment yet..

haha (what have i done~!~!~! why am i so slow....~~~)

i have done periodontal charting

with my own classmate in secondary school.

now, i am afraid if he is having crush on me! (NO~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!) *O*

stop texting me........for no reasons.....

as of my love story

nothing much about it.

i have signed up for Baitul Muslim (MUSLIM FAMILY) for marriage proposal

u know, sort of match-making proposal, under my usrah.

ah. now i am following usrah,

in order to learn more about Islam, and to embrace it even more

to be a better MUSLIMah!

AMIN!!!

and last 2 day, my friend(sort of close one) suggest me a man, that is her fiance's housemate.

she said that this man already plan to get married by next year and 

now working as airplane maintainer at KLIA for Malaysia Airlines.

he is 1-year older than me, and a plain Malay man. 

he has sweet smile, and dark skin. 

enough.

but still,

for me, a marriage at early age, when we are not FULLY ready for it 

will only produce a disastrous marriage.

but why??? can't we try...???

we can try, of course, but don't we all hope for a long lasting marriage? with the one that 

we can hold on with, love with, take care of.

so my answer is, "maybe he will meet someone better than me" 

:)

you. GOOD LUCK. 

my 3rd year as the dental student

Assalamualaikum!

has been quite a while since the last time i post anything on this page of mine.

okeh!let's get to business.

i have started the INTRO. TO CLINIC or ITC

-which is COMPULSORY for dental students before starting the clinical years, before seeing the patients, before this and before that-

last 27/8/2012.

which is also the 8th Syawal 1433H.

so that's saying that we gonna spend our next two weeks of Hari Raya or Eid Mubarak in lectures, demo classes, labs, white coats, gloves, green gowns, mirrors, probes, e-set trays, stock tray, scaling...

you name it!

but despite all

what i really want to write here is that i have my FIRST patient last Wednesday that is 29/8/2012

which is also, of course, my own batch mate!

i was REAAAAALLYYY shaking! 

i was to do the screening of her teeth conditions, record any caries or plaque-if there's any-

and then suddenly when i was softly enjoy the moments

the probe catch on something and the gum start bleeding. 

i mean BLEEDING!

i was like

'OH! what SHOULD i doooo???!!!'

my hand was shaking but i quickly reached for the sterile gauze and cotton wool

and wiped the blood.

lucky me!Alhamdulillah! the blood stopped bleeding and everything became normal again.

but 

i know i was not.

when i was to continue the works

my hands still shaking and i couldn't really properly works after that.

well, not everything is perfect for the first trial.

even Albert Einstein can't make the bulb in one day stand

Mahatma Gandhi can't reach the democracy for India in one day

Dr Sun Yat Sen can't change China in one day

hence

people can't change in one day

at least, i can't

but give me time

i'll try my best

and 

let the time heals everything

also 

i don't know why

what's happening

because for me

one week through ITC

it was like a new world has reached me and i am forced into it

for example, Asian eats rice, suddenly the rice is gone, instead it grows in west world 

the Asian is forced to take wheat and apple for lunch and breakfast.

hm...

pretty hard to adapt eh?

haha...lame example. 

what i mean above is like

all of this time i have been dreaming in my own world

my own colours

my own sky

my own trees

my own birds

all those sort of things.

hence, during the 1st week of ITC, 

i watch new things 

new skills

new people

new skies

and new scenarios

some, i could say, easy for me to adapt

some, need a lot of efforts to pull things together.

and there's one time i was so blurred what to do

i become numb.

i could say that was my first numbness i feel in my heart all my life.

even when my brother who always teased me, almost like everyday, saying 

"you're stupid or student? no....you are stupid, not a student"

i was okay with that

because in some way he was right

in another way......aaaarrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhh!!!

of many years i think i live in this lovely world

that new experience 

i think i managed to see on both views.

i was numb but i don't know how to manage it

because i learn through my eyes and my ears

and i just not getting the learning yet during that time

so i was numb.

and i fled.

because when i don't know the answer to anything, i fled.

like nothing happen, i pretend.

but to be pretentious, it was tiring.

but i don't know how to manage

hence, 

i was stuck.

i am really sorry.

i was really stupid.

but like i said,

that was my first experience

and i am not familiar with it, so i don't really know what to do.

hence what i did what like whining

to my best friend-which is so busy poking a GOAT, at the time i phoned her-

and to my best buddy-my Mom-

during those time,i turned to my Creator, asking help 

at least, i feel calm and soothe

and still manage to smile.

Alhamdulillah.

exam is around the clock

still got many to cover

the events are millions and 

we have to keep up with each one of them

haha

imagine!

and my classmate and i will perform a acapella song for this coming national symposium dental event

this June

and

i am playing ketuk- ketuk baldi

haha!

Rejab is here

insyaAllah, i want to start fasting 

fast with me k!

i am 20 years old

yet i never experience love

used to have someone that was around when i was in trouble

but i could not open the heart for him

now i pray for his happiness with his woman of choice

insyaAllah

will be the best woman for him

i don't want to be like Dena

marry at such young age

but i want to be a mature, charismatic woman

that is successful in her career and life as a woman, wife, mother and 

muslimah.

people ask me this day

why i don't wear purdah?

i was hesitate to answer

i need strength to do that ya Allah

give me the strength

but yet i am not a good girl that passionately

go to mosque everyday

do usrah and everything

i am just a typical girl, really

but i wear big2 hijab to cover my hair and chest 

like what have been instructed to me by Allah

i don't want to disobey Allah

i am afraid to do so since Allah is the very reason i live today

i have everything because of Him

thank you Allah

i love Allah and Muhammad SAW.

<3 <3 <3

some stories

it is 5 minutes before the-day-i-turned-21-in-Hijri-calendar

pass by...

it is Friday 17 Raby` al-THaany 1412 A.H.

some 21 years ago 

the same friday as it was today

i was born...

somehow today my day today is sort of unique 

maybe

i really realized today that i was sort of closed-container people

i will not let anyone get around me

it was hard for me to open up to people

and what's more

i hate it, really 

when people mistreat me

when take me wrongly

when they tell sorts of stories about me

i am thankful sometimes that i hear none of the stories about me

not that i don't care

i want to know nothing about those 

so that i still have my good expressions of them like i used to have

and i want to keep it that way

i know now that i am someone 

people say

'world of her own'

and really i create

a small greenery world of my own

when things got hard on me and i want to continue to smile

head up, walk on and laugh happily

as if nothing is wrong with me

if i want to start crying now and moaning about everything 

i reallly will not know 

when will i stop

how can i stop crying

and yeah

i will try to pull myself together and get better

insyaAllah

Islam then teaches me the right way to channel my

anger 
frustration

sadness

joyness

emptiness

that people sometimes find annoying

that i have no one to share them with

the book of Motivasi Menjadi Wanita Paling Bahagia by Dr 'Aidh Abdullah Al-Qarni

really help me a lot

and i have my prayers

my zikir and my Quran 
i really do become happy that way

like today

i did a mistake and my friends seemed really pissed off with me for that

and my works at the simulation lab seemed got struck

and i really don't wanna cry about those

then i set myself loose and ponder myself with cakes,cookies,kebab,mango juices

and many more

while listening to the zikir along the way to the town

zikir to ease off unhappiness

i find myself again swinging off my tiny shopping bag in my left hand and 

shockingly i was myself happy when i set foot 

to the rehearsal for the event of my faculty tomorrow 

i watched the hilarious Jozan at Maharaja Lawak in my ipod video and

i laughed a lot about that

hahahahahaha

p:s> laugh like him ok! 

Thai movie 1

just finished

The Crazy Little Thing Called Love,  (สิ่งเล็กๆที่เรียกว่ารัก)

another Thai movie, obviously

what can i say

if you wanna laugh at little2 things, 

funny yet CUTE!

go for this movie

you will not regret it!

it is about a teenage school girl

in love with her senior and 

is doing her best to make him recognize her

in cute way, of course

this movie is not the girly-go-cheesy love relationship

this movie tells about not-so-beautiful girl like most of us (....me, maybe)

can fall in love and strive for it

but in this movie, it is the school scenario

hah....i have missed mine....

but this thing about her 

is that she does her best about her looks

her exams

her social club

that capture my heart when i watch the movie

i really recommend this movie!

5 stars for this movie!

p/s: go for this link... crazy-little-thing-called-love 

^^

story of my break-time sem

hm

i would say 

this sem break is the most laziest break i ever have gone through

i only managed to go sight-seeing to only 2-3 places so far

oh! i took few pictures when i go to Pasir Mas Pasar Besar (sort of big market....)

full of many things, really!

and i really enjoyed my day 

walking, strolling the market

and taking pictures here and there

haha

and to cover my 'kejakunan' of my own Kelantan's attraction

i went saying that these pictures are for my work

and you know, the first thing i bought when i got there

is a ring!

a cheap one, with cute carves of leaves and flowers here and there

 for RM3.

haha....

yeah as a sign for people to not flirt with me

but i thought i must have been stood out

that when i walked around

people kept looking at me

staring, i meant.

i am curious, why they did that?

when i think back, 

maybe i should not wear the black cardigan with black scarft and black bagpack

in a sunny working Tuesday

hahahaha...

what a mistake!

and also i went to KB Mall

but it was for buying some books with the book cash-tickets

Malaysia's government generously gives to each of us students

worth RM 200

i found the book of Rasul Mulia, Umat Mulia, Akhlak Mulia by Telaga Biru Publications!

after a long search...

ok.let's stop here. 

i had few photos to stick here but the usb cabel of my camera

sort of went missing

so there will be none until then.

p/s: the drama i re-watched during the break.

i recommended you all watch Lovers in Paris, a good Cinderella story

but please avoid Full House...that kdrama is ok for few episodes but it become sort of lame when it approaches the ending.... the 2nd hero don't play much roles and spend little time with heroin,
but he said he likes her and wants her to like him??..hah?who will believe that,how he likes her when they only see each other for only couple of time?? hahahaha
 but i like the after-marriage relationship it demonstrates in the drama.and that really make me hooked in the first few episodes of it.

then

i watched Akai Ito.
one of my fav drama so far.

so touching 

and actually i learn about

 'if-you-love-someone-it-doesn't-mean-you-have-to-be-with-that-someone

for mutual happiness

for sometimes you have to be far away from them to keep them at ease and happy

for sometimes our presence bring miserables to their lives'

yeah....

i learned about it there. from Akai Ito, a jdrama and also from Lovers in Paris, a kdrama.

and also i watched Coffee Prince, a kdrama.

a common drama nowadays,

since many productions have made this girl-turn-into-boy sort of drama,

then fall in love with the hero

the hero becomes a headaches

whether to love a man, 

then decide to become their dongsaeng

the truth come out

further heache.

huh....

but this drama is not so much about the status-diifferent the kdaram ALWAYS stress on

i say, how many people is a millionaires 

so why make drama for them? I AM CURIOUS

why can't make the drama about middle-class people

like the indonesia film, LASKAR PELANGI

or maybe jdrama NOBUTA wo PRODUCE

i really love these!!

haha...just a piece of my mind.

peace!

the links of the photos is on the pictures k!

old things, new to me

it has been awhile since i last wrote any post.

ya Allah, 

i could say no more

it have been 4 days since i started the final semester exams

and i feel rather sick right now

unexplained dizziness

tiredness

headache

nausea

and sometimes feel like vomiting...

but only saliva comes out....

luckily

imagine

i have to do studying but sometime this lightheaded comes in the way

and that'it!

i feel like losing my concentration and i could not push myself anymore

but sleeping sometime solve the problems, sometimes worsen it!

i asked my brother about it and Google it up sometime when the

'I-Could-Not-Stand-This-Anymore' feeling

comes up

these are new to me

and i think this might be due to migraine or something related

i guess so....

hence

i am feeling rather sorry to the friends of mine 

that may feel irritated when i declined their invitations to Seoul Garden Restaurant

for post-exam celebration

i am sorry...

but i really don't feel like going out 

and meeting people

most of the days
this few weeks

i really feel like wanna shut my mouth up 

and lock my self up in the room.

not that i hate meeting people

but sometime

meeting them, talking with them

invite over the lightheaded things again

and i really wanna avoid it...

hm.

since the exam is over today,

and we have one-week holiday

i wanna escape

i wanna board train and enjoy the night.

let it be the little things that can help me forget 

about problems i have

yeah, living here teach me the word

ESCAPISM.